The Art Teacher eventually wants kids. I do not want kids. This may eventually be the breaking point in our relationship. We are both aware of the others viewpoints however I think both of us feel the other will bend. Which may eventually be true. But I cannot promise her children.
Right now The Art Teacher is planning on spending a few weeks with me this summer. Take some classes locally and get some work done. We are both pretty excited about living together on a test run to see if we kill each other.
:)
The Art Teacher kind of flipped out on me when she was here last week. It was late at night we were going to bed I had a random thought about moving and I was about to say something to her but I stopped myself. She wanted me to tell her but I said now isn’t the time lets go to sleep. I was beat, dragging ass, and I didn’t want to stay up for another hour talking about it. But she kept pressuring and dragged it out of me.
I told her she cant have me move up there only to drag me someplace else in a year or less to another city where shes going to grad school. (She wants to get her masters in fine arts.) Also one of her choices is right here in my city.
This set her off with anger, sadness, and straight out of left field. I know Ive forgotten some of it but it includes:
I don’t even think I’m good enough to get in.
I don’t think my portfolio, my work is even good, I don’t know why I bother.
I think I can be a good mom, right? I don’t want to end up like my mother.
Relationships never work out anyway I don’t know anyone who has lasted more than 15 years. Why bother getting married.
Just constant insecurity about her work, her life, her family, relationships, us. I just felt so lost I didn’t know where this was coming from. I did not even want to talk about it she forced me to. There was nothing I could say or do to calm her down, she was upset, angry, and being a real bitch.
The next morning she was really sad and upset. She kept apologizing and how she didn’t wanna lose me and how she really just wishes I was up there with her to have a more normal relationship. I felt terrible, it was like a red flag bomb had exploded that night and I was certain I was not going to move at all.
The Art Teacher asked me to move to (in) with her. Not right now but at some point in the near(ish) future.
Last night The Art Teacher and I shared quite a romantic date. Great dinner, great art exhibit, toured a few monuments. I love you’s were said. It was fantastic. I am Happy.
…and by okay I mean barely okay.
So we actually talked soon after I posted the last update. She was upset that I didn’t talk to her much this past weekend and shes been “thinking about things”.
Some texting occurred on Friday after she told me “My ex has been using different number and calling me again.” Which she also did talk to him at least once. I haven’t talked much about this but her ex was a manipulative controlling jackass. I really don’t want to go into that but pretty much I would be very happy if he checked out of this world early…
I was very busy all weekend so my focus was elsewhere. I was irritated/miffed/pissed about this situation and sad because every single time this happens The art Teacher becomes very distant and I dont hear much from her.
So my reaction was to hold back and I was contemplating things. What do I do about this? The only thing I had was be as supportive as possible; being distant only helped me and my feelings.
So she was upset I was distant, I was upset about her being distant. We both were at fault and to blame for this.
